Grit is an important character-building trait to develop. However, it does have a warning label that needs to be shared. To recap, grit means ‘courage and resolve, the strength of character’ and is the principal ingredient in pushing through adversity. Why does it need a warning label?
Trauma, abuse, mental health issues such as suicidal thoughts, extreme dysfunction, and emotionally immature parents are a few reasons we need to take Grit within context. Working through trauma will take grit, but, the work needs to be done in a safe and healthy environment. Working through trauma by suppressing, ignoring, hiding, or working through it by yourself is not grit but dangerous. Human beings are wired and created to live within community and interdependence. Grit may take the shape of asking for help, taking a step towards vulnerability, or setting up limits/boundaries in order to stay safe. Many of us believe, whether we want to admit it or not, that grit equals strength and reaching out equals weakness. Although we may give advice to others that sharing is not a weakness, we cannot seem to do it ourselves because of long-held beliefs or fears. The challenge is to acknowledge that thought and open ourselves up to including more thoughts such as, I can also show courage by sharing and being vulnerable. If you are unsure if grit is appropriate in your situation, seek out wise counsel. If you do not have someone to ask, call us so that we can help you walk through the situation together. Some great questions to ask yourself are, “Would I give that advice to someone else?” “Is this an area that I usually struggle to make good decisions?” “Is fear keeping me from seeking help?” “Do I think or feel like I need to do this all on my own?”
Grit is an amazing trait as long as we use it wisely and follow the warning label. This is why we are meant to live and function in community because sometimes we do not pay attention to the warning signs, or perhaps we have never learned the warning signs. There are resources to help everyone get the help they need - no one needs to Grit through their circumstances in silence or isolation. We are here.
— Tracy Paulino, L.M.H.C.