I have been counseling individuals and couples for over 20 years and I will tell you, one of the most common problems that manifest in our closest relationships (be it romantic, friendship, or family dynamics) is rooted in fantasy. The fantasy — or hope — of who that person is or could be. A person’s potential, rather than who they are, right now, in this moment. In today’s day and age of photoshop, filters, and the social media “highlights reel”, it’s hard to know what is real and what is fantasy. In the dating world and new relationships especially, I often find my clients (of all ages) attracted to their fantasy projection of who and what that other person is, rather than taking the time to really get to know the authentic human in front of them.